I'm Back! What now?

I have been back for 6 days and everything is so surreal! This past week I was up at Forest Home (my second home and place I love so much) helping out at the camp I worked at the past two summers. It has been a nice place of transition- I'm in America, but in a place that is secluded and peaceful. I have been able to process a bit and just simply be. Adjusting back has not seemed so difficult, its more of figuring out how am I different now.
My last week in Venezuela, I worked at a camp there. It was so incredible and I was able to help out with music, sports and other program events. I was sitting in one of the services (which was scheduled for 2 hrs, but may go on for 6- no joke- just to give you an idea) and I was realizing "Wow, I am here. I just spent 2 months in Venezuela. I experienced so much! I did camp! I spoke on the radio... I... I..." And then I remembered my first journal entry on the plane to Venezuela... "God, I have no idea what I am doing. So anything that does happen it's going to be you." <> Talk about a reality check... And as I remember all the moments just before I was to speak in front of a hundred people in a language I didn't know or talk on the radio or play lead music that I just learned that day- I remember so distinctly saying or thinking in my mind "God I have no idea what I am doing- I trust you- I have confidence in you in this moment." And every time it never went as planned- it was better than I could have planned! It was never perfect, but it was beautiful. What do I take from this? Well, I am trying to soak it in deep- that these realizations don't just go by the wayside, rather that they become so profoundly and completely a part of how I approach life. I am loved. God has confidence in me. I have confidence in God (Yo tengo confianza en Dios) God is with me. I am not limited anymore by my thinking/ faults/ inabilities/ fears. I can live fully (Yo tengo vida en abundancia). Gloria a Dios!
I hope that in sharing my experiences you have come to see the reality of God, prayer, and love in the world as I have learned/ am learning. Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. I have no doubt they made all the difference! Now I am off on another adventure- what to do with my life this year!?

Compartiendo Vida- Sharing Life

One more week here in Venezuela! I am trying to soak it all in. I realized after my last post that though I did not feel like I had anything to offer, simply sharing life is what I came for in the first place. I have learned so much here and one of the greatest lessons is how important relationships are. Here, time stops for a friend. Here, it is more important to be with your brother/ sister in need than to accomplish your to-do list. Here, time is not passing by so much as it simply is. Sharing with one another means both ways. So often, I will sit and listen to a friend who is struggling, but I rarely share my struggles or hurts with someone. Here, they understand that we´re in this together- we need each other. We cannot do it alone. We weren´t meant to live life alone. I am so thankful for the time I have had here to learn if only this one thing. I want to return and starting living with others- sharing- listening- being with those around me.
While I did find a way to offer what little money I had left to the district, I realized that in offering myself, I have been able to learn and share with the people here. Just the other night, it was the birthday of one of Rodolfo´s daughters- 16 yrs old! We threw her a surprise party and sang songs in to the night. As I sat there singing a song they requested in English (Everything by Lifehouse- a song they all love!) I thought to myself ¨There is not another place I would rather be than right here, sharing this song/ sharing my life with my dear friends here.¨

Dos Semanas Mas

There are less than two weeks left before I head back to the United States. I cannot believe it! I look back and think about all that I have been able to do. And the perspective I had when arriving (terrified and scared out of my pants) so much has happened and so much has changed. I am still trying to process all that has taken place here, the lessons I learned- about God, this culture, myself, the church, prayer, so much... Some lessons have been more memorable than others, but I am thankful for them all. Right now, I am really trying to figure out how I am going to thank the people that have taught me so much and shared with me the past two months. My initial plan to collaborate with each family did not work out quite as I had planned, figures. But I have some other ideas. I am reading ¨Three Cups of Tea¨ right now and it is incredible. I highly recommend it, if you have not read it. Every time I read a part of it, I want to set off and do something huge and grand here in Venezuela to really help and make a difference. (For those of you don´t know- the basis of the book is an American mountain climber decides to build a school for an isolated village near K2). I am disappointed at times when I look at how little money I have to offer or thinking I am just a recent college grad who took a vacation in Venezuela. I do feel this has been so much more and different than a vacation- teaching classes, speaking to churches, building houses, cold showers, skipping meals because the family you´re with can´t afford it, etc. There is one need that I have identified as something I want to do what I can to help- the family of Rodolfo (the superintendent who put my whole trip together) is in need of a vehicle. It is a great necessity here for a family of 7 and for ministry as pastor of a church and superintendent of the district. It is a bit more expensive here to purchase a car that is sure to be quality- by quality I mean a 1980´s car/ truck in working condition- around $6-7,000. I am still figuring out how I can help. But for now, I am praying and listening for ways to help this amazing family as much as I can.
This next week will be spent in San Cristobal. Then I head to camp with the adolescents of all the Nazarene churches in Venezuela. I am pretty excited! It should be a lot of fun!
I have to run, but I will try to get another post up this week before I head to camp and then back home!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! They have truly made a difference!

Otra Semana

Lo siento, hermanos. I was wrong about the time difference for the radio program. It was at 5:30am in the U.S. I guess I am not so good at math. Ha!
So another week has come and gone! What has come up and the places I have been is beyond everything I had imagined. I was in Rubio and Bramon past week. In Rubio, I went to cuavas (caves) and explored them with some of the teens of the church. So much fun! I did some rockclimbing too over the water in the caves! This is also where the radio program was, which went really well! I don´t really know if anyone understood me. They said they did and they got a lot of good feedback. I really can´t believe that I was invited to do that. From Rubio I went to Bramon, where I explored with the teens the nearby forest. Los Pinos. It was radical! This whole time practicing my spanish and getting used to people not understanding me and me not understanding them. But its getting easier! I was asked to talk to the the church Saturday evening and share what I have been learning. This time there was no translator and it was incredible! I set it up so right from the start I asked for help from the congregation- when I didn´t know how to say something they would help me pronounce it correctly. It was so great! They all chimed in and helped me share the thoughts in my heart about having confidence in God to do things in our lives beyond what we could have imagined and that show love and peace to those around us. Again, I didn´t know if they understood me or if what I was trying to say really got through, but perhaps more was at work than just my words or those around me. I also played music for the church the entire time I was there. At times, I was the lead instrument, keyboard and I did not know the songs or have music to read. Good stuff! Again, something more was at work! Because it went super well! Now I am in San Cristobal again, this time for the week. I will be heading to another state in Venezuela this week with Pastor Rodolfo and then returning to San Cristobal. But, if one thing has been more true than just about anything else on this trip, is that just because its planned doesn´t mean thats what will happen. So things will undoubtedly change- but I am used to it now. I miss you all! But I am can´t believe I have less than 3 weeks left here. I´ll be back before I know it! I will have more photos up as soon as I can- I have quite a few, as you can already see and that was just the first 2 weeks!
Peace

On the Radio

Hey all! Quick little something: tomorrow at 8am here in Rubio Venezuela, I will speaking on the radio! I was asked to share thoughts about how many different types of music can be to the Lord. I am not exactly sure what I will share, but I do feel that a lot of music has a message and a lot of meaning behind it that is being sung to share and express love, hurt, anger, praise, and at times a desire for more. I believe at times ´non-christian´music is more real and honest than some ´christian´labeled music. I am excited for it! We´ll see how it goes, I never expected to be on the radio before! If you would like to listen (its early I know 6:30am Saturday Julio 19, 2008) go to: www.esperanzavivafm.com

I just realized, a lot of it, if not all will be in Spanish... but at least you will be able to hear my voice and hear how much of an English accent I have when I try to speak Spanish, ha!

Paz

¡Naguara!- an expression of Venezuela

Dear Hermanos, I want to share what happened in the past two days I am positive I heard the voice of God through the friends I have here speak directly to me. It was incredible! Check this out- This experience brought me to the brink of tears (not something that has happened in a long time) I was in the car with the pastors of Colon- William and his wife Eva and their 6 yr old son Hepciel. I asked them about prayer and its power and why they prayed so much- Pastor William gets up every day at 5am and prays and then more often then not there is a few days where he starts praying with people from the church in the afternoon and they continue into early morning- he prays a lot and so does his wife. I couldn´t believe what was shared with me. And completely in another language, perhaps that helped (?) They started their church 6 yrs ago and no one came- so they began praying on saturdays and for 3 yrs it was just their family on Sundays. But they kept praying. Its power is something they do not doubt at all even through those times. When they pray they have realized things change, move and the Espiritu Santo comes with power. The pastor asked me when I had an experience of the Spirit moving- so I shared about the time when I couldn´t sleep for weeks and then one night Katie asked me if I had prayed about it, I said no, I dont know what to say and then we prayed and an unexplainable peace came over me and I have been sleeping so much better since. To this the pastor responded that was the Holy Spirit and what you need now is to pray alone and grow on your own, poco y poco, little by little you will grow and words will come to your lips in prayer to God. (Hmm.. sounds a lot like what someone had challenged me in, growing on my own just me and God). But thats not all, get this, Then the pastor began to ask about when I was sanctified (John Welsey and Martin Luther stuff) I responded that I believe it is a process that little by little I have experienced peace, love, patience, humility that I don´t know where it came from. He said, Yes! thats the fruit of the spirit. He and his wife began to say/ share what they had noticed about me in my time with them. That I was very humble, sincere, and a special person that God is definitely watching with interest and going to use/ using me now. That´s when my eyes welled up and I had a hard time looking into the eyes of the pastor. How could he know this? How could he know the biggest struggle I have and speak right to it? I struggle believing that I can be used by God and that I am something special to Him... I don´t know how to explain it, but in those moments, with people I hardly knew, in another language, I heard God speaking to me. I never want to forget that!

Segunda Semana

I lost track of days this past week, so much was going on! Its funny because so much is happening, but there are times when I feel like I am not doing anything- if that makes any sense. I spent the first part of this week in Michelena again working on Serefins house. We made quite a bit of progress and I am really glad I was able to help. I will be returning there to take more photos when they are finished. From there I went to Colon. It has been so fun here and hot! But the family here is so great as well! We have had a good time! The church here is always busy. There are services of some sort just about every night- it is definitely a church of prayer. (Something I definitely want to learn to be more about). I have played guitar and piano (keyboard) here for the services, which I have really enjoyed, but I wish I knew the songs. It would be a lot easier and I think more helpful. (oh well :) This morning I spoke for about 30-40 minutes about what I have been learning about life and God. It had a lot to do with movement and seeking to grow and change with every day. I have shared this talk a few times now, but I honestly was amazed (not that I should be- God is full of surprises!) to learn some new things or notice some new aspects about the passages we went through. That Word of God- its so deep! Check out the new pictures up on the left hand side to see the families I have been with and some of what I have been doing. Its been great! And I think my spanish is getting better, too! I have had some help from my new friend Cesar and the rest my friends here in Colon. Good stuff! Rough at times, but I am enjoying this experience. I miss everyone at home though!